Moving to Blogger…

I know this is a new blog, but I don’t want to add the annoyance of blog formatting problems to all the other struggles in life

So, my new blog is here – if nothing is there yet, check back tomorrow; I will be announcing the Christian Women’s Collaborative Zine Project, and I KNOW you will want to participate!!

Thursday, January 17

Sorry about the weird formatting in this post…WordPress seems to have strange glitches quite often. But in my quest not to be freaked out over imperfection, I am not going to worry about it. Hopefully, you can figure out anything that looks odd or seems to be in the wrong place. One reason I prefer paper publications…you can control things in the layout MUCH more easily!

Today Moppet 4 met his first baby. It was obvious that they recognized a kindred spirit, or at least a fellow bald person, when first they gazed into one another’s eyes. Adultfriend who brought Babyfriend is one of the two people I have met online who have become my pals in real life.

Adultfriend and I are very adept at the female conversation style called Tangent. We start on one subject, then are reminded of another subject for no apparent reason, which, from the outside and to men especially, has no relation to the first subject…and on and on, until we finally return to the first subject and tie it all together with a neat bow on top. Today we discussed writing, the pain of secondary infertility, weight loss, how to use Microsoft Publisher, how freaked out some people get when a nursing mother is within their immediate vicinity and other topics which have sunk into the murky depths of my unconscious. I am very gratified that Adultfriend wants to make her own zine. Zines are one of the great motifs of my life, and while I have been reading multiple books by Anne Lamott over the past few weeks – novels and essays – I saw that she has her own motifs that show up again and again in her writing. Some of her recurrent themes are her hair, her father and his death, her mother, drinking, drugs and other unhealthy behaviors, grace, hatred of the right wing. Some of the recurrent motifs that have manifested themselves through many years and mutations, evolutions (or whatever) in My Self, and regularly show up in my writing and visual art are: psychology, death, Judaism, libertarianism, coffee, women, pornography, grace vs works and certainly others I am forgetting. I used to worry that people who read what I write or saw my visual art would think that I was repeating myself, and to some extent I do…but I think that’s probably the norm for anyone who has a “body of work”. There will probably be similarities, with occasional changes in direction based on something that happens in life, or the learning of a new technique in art, etc. I guess the challenge is allowing yourself to work with those motifs without falling into a boring sameness. A few weeks ago I sorted through all my old papers and found lots of old art that I did, and I was interested especially to see that I have been making cards for about 20 years. I asked Moppet 1 if she would know they were by the same person. Here are some that I found, with the first one being made about 18 years ago, and the final one sometime last year – the three in the middle were all made within a few months, I’m sure. They seem the most similar to me:

I have always made things that combine words and images, used mixed mediums and focused on images of women. That has been a constant. I think I am often somewhat whimsical, and I am seeing that more often now that I have started making books – when I occasionally make a letter for a special friend and bind it into a hardcover book, and I continue to use the collage format, although I am trying to branch out in the images I choose:

Adultfriend and I are going to try to get together regularly on Fridays to write and just be creative support for each other. I have a few other friends (Hi, Yvonne and Marla!!) that I would like to work with creatively, as well. In the book I mentioned yesterday, Finding Water, Julia Cameron talks about the importance of friends in the life of an artist – other artists as well as non-artists who believe in you and your art. Ms Cameron used to be married to director Martin Scorsese, and she writes a lot about when he and George Lucas, Stephen Spielberg, Francis Ford Copolla and other uber-famous directors were not yet famous, and were friends who shared work with each other, encouraging and critiquing in a way which was meant to build up rather than tear down. I am tired of focusing and studying on being a wife, mother and homeschooler – not that there will not always be room for improvement in those areas, but I feel like I have gleaned a lot from the many books I have read on those subjects, and I have taken in as much as I can for now, and for the forseeable future I want to put my focus on learning and practicing other things, in the midst of my wifelihood and motherhood. Especially things that will most likely be a big part of my life post-children. Even though I have a tiny baby, and would welcome however many more babies God may have for me, I am already foreseeing the end of the Era of the Young Child, the ones who need constant care and attention. Whether that era will end with this one, or with one born 8 years hence, I know that my days of diapers and nursing are limited. I don’t want to go into that stage of life totally unprepared. I want to do what little I can within my daily responsibilities in THIS season of life, to get myself ready for THAT season.

Wednesday, January 16

I am already regretting those goals I made…not that I think they are bad goals or that I don’t want to work on them, but life, at least my life, is NEVER cooperative when I say I want to do something x number of times a week, or on this particular day. I already do all the things on that list; some often, some occasionally, and some rarely, but they all get done when the time seems right. Right now, with a baby who is the Poster Child Against Naps, I rarely have 30 minutes to focus on anything before needing to hold or nurse the sweet little one

I can multi-task lots of things, but I don’t want to spend my might-be-the-last baby (I’m 39, after all, and who know when the childbearing years will end) time hurrying to put him down because of something on a to-do list, that could easily be done later in the day or even later in life. And the fact is that although I know one can’t depend on moods to determine when necessary things get done, lots of things on my list are perfectly adaptable to waiting for the mood to strike. When I say mood, I could mean a long mood…meaning, spending days making handmade books and therefore not cleaning up the table and not worrying about it. I have been reading Julia Cameron’s book called Finding Water, which is in the Artist’s Way series, and in this book she talks a lot about how she needs to be gentle with herself, and really pay attention to what she needs so as not to fall too deeply into discouragement or depression. I really resonated with that. I know that there is the whole Christian Women’s Mantra of “Do the Next Thing”, and while I know while part of the meaning of this is trusting God through difficulties in life, practically, I have always struggled with the statement because I’m not necessarily sure what the next thing should be at any given time. When I was reading that book, I really felt that it is valid if what you thought the next thing should be is put aside for something else that might be more nurturing to you at that moment. This is not knocking the truth that you have to eat the elephant one bite at a time, but that duty is not everything, and that things can be simplified, made easier and less stressful. For example, there are plenty of days when I do not cook three times a day. There are days when I make half-whole wheat blueberry muffins in the morning and we will eat them throughout the day, supplementing with other foods in the fridge. This used to make me feel really guilty, but it doesn’t anymore. It works for us. The reason we are unschoolers is because I can’t commit to so much school per day, or even per week, because there are millions of things that need to be done in life besides academics, things that are part of real life that kids learn from just as they learn from books. To me, it is a real part of my children’s education to see me do things I enjoy or which are important to me but are not related to them directly…whether that is exercise, write letters, make books…or even take a nap or sit all day on the couch reading a novel if I need to do that for some reason, because I am under the weather or emotionally weak that day. Right now there is a show on PBS about American Jews, and it reminds me how little my own children have been exposed to things Jewish, despite being Jewish themselves. If they are watching, say, The Chosen, when they see a newsreel about Nazis and piles of Jewish corpses, or Jewish gold teeth, they’ll think it’s horrible, but not that it’s about them. Although my Jewish family was Russian and so not involved in any way in the Holocaust, when I saw films like that in school I would take it personally. My mother has only recently stopped calling me on Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashonnah (when her observance consists of staying home from work) or on Hannukah, and asking whether the kids knew what day it was. I think she was discouraged that they never knew. Right now I have a heating pad on my back – one that is greatly superior to my mother’s. It is shaped like your back, and has a velcro strap that goes around your waist and holds it in place. Plus, it can be set to turn itself off so you don’t die of an electrical fire when you fall asleep in bed with the thing on. Anyway, I have it strapped on right now as I am typing. I have been doing a very watered down, Americanized Belly Dancing DVD and a few of the moves for the chest and ribs really got to some muscles in my back that I never knew existed. They felt like they were going to cramp up for half the fay. We have been using rice bags that you heat in the microwave for our “hot pain relief”, but I wanted something that would go over my whole back, and I am glad Husband shelled out the extra bucks for the De-Luxe version.

Tuesday, January 15

It’s hard to start the stream of consciousness because, well, you don’t have anything in mind to write about. I think I am starting to feel like a human again, with yesterday being so bad for me psychologically and emotionally that it can only get better from there! I slept an extra hour, and already I feel better because of that. Last night I was in a chat room with a few young people who are starting their own zine, and I am their consultant and it looks like I will also be doing the layout and design. I know about this project because my oldest Moppet is on the forum for the Rebelution, which is where they got the project together. One of my big dreams is to facilitate zine making among Christians, especially young Christians, to have zine workshops and to have a zine distribution service. This zine made by the young people will be the first ones in my distro service beside my own. I have talked on the phone to one of the editors a few times. She is an 18 year old girl, and it is very interesting to be the older person, the One With Experience, the Advice Giver. They were actually set to make just about every mistake I have made throughout my years as a zine publisher, and I think they may now avoid some because I told her my experiences. Maybe next summer when Moppet 4 is bigger I will be able to have the zine workshop I have long envisioned at our church. I am still not sure of the logistics of that. Break.

I am no longer grumpy, but definitely still hormonal. I am very restless. If I were in high school, I would be changing my clothes and fixing my hair a bunch of times. Now I never do that. I do look in the mirror and think that all my exercise is not doing anything and I may as well eat everything in the cupboard. I am snacking a bit, but I have actually learned to snack on pretty healthy things, plus I drink oodles of water.

Obviously, not much writing time today!

Sunday, January 13

For the next few days, weeks, or however long it lasts, I am going to put my stream of consciousness writing for each day here. I will write as long as I can, then say break…then come back whenever I have more time.

Another reason I don’t usually attempt the morning pages is because I cannot expect to be uninterrupted with 4 children. Sure, I could get up earlier in the attempt to be alone for a while, but they seem to have some sense that I am up and wake up earlier themselves. It’s probably better if I just deal with the limitations in my life and work with them, since trying to get out from under them never does any good. Right now the 2 middle Moppets are listening a a Redwall CD and the baby is in there with them. I am drinking my morning latte made with reduced fat milk, and just finished a piece of toast made with homemade bread…the first homemade bread that my husband has liked! I got the recipe from a library cookbook, and I like it because it is half whole grain. It has a cup of oats, a stick of butter, 1/3 cup honey and a few cups of whole wheat flour and a few cups of white. I see that my favorite kind of bread is one that has butter in it, but not milk as the liquid (unless I am making croissants) and no eggs (despite my Jewishness, I would not choose a challah if I wanted some bread). My left hip and side of my back are less than comfortable, as usual. No matter how much I exercise, stretch or do yoga type things, it still bothers me. Last week I started doing bellydance workouts, and it’s possible that might give some relief since it is so focused on the hips, but we shall see. I have pretty much resigned myself that this will be something I suffer with my whole life. Break.

Earlier today when I was once again feeling irrational hatred towards the television, I remembered that I get like this every December/January. I guess the number of football games is bumped up as the Super Bowl approaches, and I become as close to a shrew as I ever get. Then I remember that I do this every year. That doesn’t mean that I like the television any better, but it does not monopolize the entire weekend most of the year…but these 6 or so weeks in January feel like eternity. I was just searching for images of gypsies, because One of the Anne Lamott essays I read last night spoke of a movie she had seen about gypsies, and she called the men “dashingly homely”. I was surprised not to find many images, but from the one I did find, that is a good description. Break.

This week has been really hard for me for some reason, although I cringe when I say that, since I know that a bad week for me would be like heaven to billions of people. I know that my bad weeks are almost always caused not by circumstances, but by my bad attitude. This week my bad attitude was focused on the mess that developed in my house last week, which I did not expect. Last Saturday, Husband decided he wanted to begin using a little room in our house that was originally designed as a dressing room – it’s a tiny room between a bathroom and a bedroom, and it has two big closets. I had a conglomeration of things in the closets, and for him to move all his clothes and other things in there, everything had to come out. It all migrated into another room and settled in, like nomads who have found good grazing land for their camels. Now, I am not a person who normally resents household change. Usually I welcome it. But just 5 weeks ago, I had cleaned and rearranged all the closets, which took a week and a half, and having to do it again so soon took teh fun out of it…plus there was the pressure that my very good friend, whom I have not seen in 5 years since she has been living in Croatia, was coming on Friday, so there was no time for lollygagging – but still, I lollygagged some and was also constantly interrupted by real life – meaning hungry children and other things like that. I didn’t cope well. I would get started on something, get distracted and not come back to it, then before I knew it, it was bedtime, and I would wake up to the same mess, grinning smugly at me, as the day approached for my friend’s visit. I know she would not have minded seeing the mess, but I just did not want to give those bags, boxes and hundreds of loose articles a victory. I finally got it all taken care of, pretty late on the evening before she was coming. We had a great time:

Friend and Moppet 4

I thought my bad attitude would evaporate then, but it went into hibernation while my friend was here and then returned yesterday morning. I wonder whether the unexpected return of my monthly cycle only THREE months after Moppet 4 has anything to do with it? I’m not sure, but I know I can’t blame hormones for acting grumpy and short tempered…I can blame them for feeling that way, but I can’t blame them for how I react to the feelings. And it’s just pathetic how these things that would be a windfall of wealth to so many people, annoyed me all week. The closet Husband put his clothes in was neat immediately, though, and it seemed to be mocking me. We have also been as close to flat broke as we have been in a long time. Husband’s work has slowed down enormously and we don’t know why – is it the season or the economy? And he gets paid based on how much money he makes on his plumbing jobs – which can be a windfall, and was through lots of last year. It’s so easy to get used to being prosperous, but it shows my lack of character and lack of faith because I can’t get used to being less than prosperous without worrying. Also, in the typical American fashion, I don’t like having to wait to buy things, or have to pick and choose at the grocery store rather than stocking up completely with every kind of food I might like to have in the house. I wrote about this in my last zine, too. I wonder if God, the Benevolent Schoolmaster, is just letting me know that I did not get the lesson last time, so it’s time for review?

Whenever I feel resentful and discontented I see that it is related to not being thankful. So even though my attitude still stinks, I am going to remember to be thankful for:

- Having stuff that makes life easier and more pleasant – so much of it that it can actually make a mess!

- My husband and children who accept me even when I’m grumpy

- The fact that being flat broke here in this country today is so different from being flat broke in the time when Ken Follett’s novel World Without End is set.

- That even having a limited supply of groceries from my spoiled perspective means that I have lots of good nutritious food, including what many would consider luxuries

- The big, warm bed that I am going to climb into now to escape from my own bad attitude, and the fact that God usually graciously grants us the next morning to start again.

Afternoon Pages…

I recently re-read Julia Camerons’ book The Artist’s Way, which is a 12 week course in unblocking your creativity. One of the tools she recommends using is Morning Pages…stream of consciousness writing (three pages) that you write every morning, not stopping until you reach the three page limit, even if this means you say anything that comes to your mind, with no rhyme or reason, like “Why am I writing? I know I am not even really creative, so why am I trying to unblock my creativity anyway. Something that doesn’t exist can’t be blocked. My coffee is not hot enough, I have to remember to buy milk. Isn’t it strange that milk comes from a cow and we drink it? It’s also weird that we live with an animal and somehow feel that she is one of the family. I have a headache” etc. I have always avoided that exercise because 1) she says you should do it longhand, but despite having kept handwritten journals for years, my mind works better when I type, and since I am a perfectionist I think that if I don;t follow her instructions (she is the guru of creative unblocking, after all) that the process won’t work, or worse 2) that it will be a waste of time because nothing interesting could come from the muddle of my mind anyway. Natalie Goldberg also recommends just writing in a stream of consciousness fashion, sometimes using timed writings, sometimes trying to write on a particular subject, or writing descriptions of people, places or things for that length of time. The reason for the stream of consciousness, I think, is that we can spend so much time worrying about how to say something that we won’t take the risk of saying anything, and when we just let our thoughts out on the page, there is a chance that amidst the rubble, detritus and other messy and/or boring things that live in our heads, something of some truth or beauty may emerge. In the last entry I wrote a bit about Anne Lamott, who writes the kind of books I would like to write. I doubt that I would have the irreverence that you find in her work, but the memoir form she uses, the willingness to share her own screwed up life and self in words, is something that I aspire to. I don’t want to have to worry about whether what I write is appropriate for a Christian to write about – I dealt a bit with this worry in my last zine. But I don’t know why I would not want to write about something if it is something that I think – being a sinner in a world of other sinners, why should I bother to hide the embarrassing things I have thought or done, or talk about my past without feeling ashamed of it, etc. You are probably thinking that there is a whole army of skeletons in proper marching attire in the various closets of my house, but that’s not really true and not what I mean. But I know that I am not always feeling the way The Perfect Christian would, nor have I always had her experiences or acted and/or reacted as she would. And when I try to write and leave all those things out for whatever reason – sometimes because I just don’t want to deal with them, or because I think others will be shocked or whatever, I don’t think my writing rings true. I hate the television. While that is not a shocking statement, my hatred of the television leads to all kinds of unChristian thoughts and feelings, the most common one being resentment. I have strong feelings about my children watching television mindlessly, but often on weekends my husband (like many, if not most husbands) can sit in front of the television all afternoon watching multiple football games, and of course my two middle Moppets sit there watching mindlessly. Now, the Perfect Christian would not even be writing this, since it is acknowledging negative feelings about her husband, which she never does because it can seem like she is disrespecting her husband and his choice to watch television, which is not what I am doing. But the fact is that I resent the time our children spend in front of the television on the weekend is an actuality. Is it all right for me to write about that? If God knows about it anyway, which He does, who am I trying to fool?

Two People I Think Are Really Cool Right Now

Last year I read Bird by Bird, a book about writing by Anne Lamott.

Next to Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg, it is my favorite book about writing. It is hysterically funny and very serious at the same time. Now I’m reading her book called Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith. Ms Lamott is a Christian… a very liberal one as far as I can tell; I am sure I would not agree with her theologically in many areas. But reading her inspires me because she is so honest about life. She reminds me that walking by faith and not by sight is pretty much the norm for most people, most of the time, as we skooch forward bit by bit along Sanctification Road, where street signs have been stolen, roadblocks are up and construction crews are permanently blocking off portions of the road you are sure you need to be on, but can’t reach. We don’t know the detours we need to take, and the only street we can get all the way down is called Grace.

The other person I just discovered tonight, when I checked his book out of the library on pure whim. People who watch television may have heard of him before I did, since I guess he has a show on one of the Discovery Channels.

His name is Dan Ho and he is Guamanian and called the Anti-Martha (Stewart, of course). The book I read is called Rescue From Domestic Perfection, and I could have written something very like it. It reminded me of a zine, despite being slick, bound and in color. When you read what people think about this book various places online, they often say that it is weird that he is talking about displaying your authentic style while still making blanket statements about what is cool or not cool. But I found that really refreshing, and did not think that he was telling anyone else what to do, but just saying without equivocation what he thinks is cool or what he thinks is a waste of time and energy in life – things like neatly rolling underwear before putting it away, or caring whether or not your dishes match, or trying to make your whole living room co-ordinate with a piece of art. In his house, he has this really minimalist shaker-looking shelf with a rubber duck on top. On my mantle, I have a plaster mold of my husband’s teeth holding two cigars.

This guy is definitely a kindred spirit…and when his hair is loose, it’s wild like Anne Lamott’s! Is that a weird coincidence, or what?

Accepting My Housekeeper Self

I did not make any goals regarding housekeeping or cleaning this year. This is because, after 39 years, I have come to accept my Inner Housekeeper, who has no maids or professional organizers in her lineage.

Anyone who knows me is aware that I am an inveterate self-improver. And I have improved in the housekeeping arena since my marriage 19 years ago, and most especially in the last 5 or 6 years. But I have given up striving for perfection in this realm and every other. I have given up trying to seem like I have it all together, because I finally realized that it is of theological importance to do so. Yes, theological.

The very basis of being a Christian is acknowledging imperfection. I have long believed this in spiritual and moral terms, but only recently has it sunk in that this is a practical doctrine, as well. Just as I cannot be perfect morally, I cannot be a perfect wife, mother, housekeeper, artist, writer, etc. I also cannot expect anyone else to be a perfect friend, child, spouse or (insert here person who should be perfect but isn’t).

I have spent most of my marriage feeling like I just couldn’t live up to expectations, and I mistakenly thought that the expectations were those of my husband or children or acquaintances, but they were really my own and I was projecting onto them. That may sound like psychobabble, but it’s really true. I spent years assuming that my husband was judging me as a wife, mother and homemaker and apologizing for things that I didn’t need to apologize for – meaning, apologizing for not being perfect. But he never expected perfection from me, and I wore myself out trying to be something that I not only wasn’t, but that I couldn’t possibly be.

This is not to say that I should give up striving to develop as a person in various areas…it’s about grace. I have learned over the last few years to view others through the lens of grace, but in looking at myself I have continued to hold up those magnifying lenses that perch on the bottom of your nose and make everything look bigger than it really is, while making you look elegantly haughty.

Not to say that there are never big messes in my house…sometimes there are. But despite the magnification power of those lenses, only the negative is enlarged, while all that is good seems to shrink by comparison. It probably sounds like a cliche, but I know that my family would rather have a Pleasant Me (who has hundreds of blocks on the floor of the living room, three loads of laundry to fold, and five or six dirty pots and pans sitting on the top of the microwave) than a Harsh Me (who has the cleanest and neatest house west of the Mississippi).

This is what my house looks like right now:

The hundred or so plastic army men have already been picked up.

These are two of the loads that need folding.

Here are 5 boxes of “stuff” that needs to be sorted:

This may look messy, but it is actually organized – who has the money for those fancy organizing systems?

The space where I exercise (and no, the presence of the American Flag does not mean I have gone patriotic)

The desk where I now sit…and this is actually de-cluttered moment for this area

Most of this stuff will probably be picked up and projects completed before bed, but if it isn’t, that’s just fine. And if it does get straightened up, I will have help from my children, husband or both. Part of learning to extend grace to myself has been accepting that I am finite. I have only two hands, only so much energy, and more to do than I can possibly get done on my own, while still remaining sane.

Admitting that I don’t have it all together has meant that I no longer hide the fact that have needs, and there will be times when I need help; I am not eternally energetic, emotionally resilient or psychologically healthy. I no longer feel guilty about that fact, so I can more easily ask my daughter to watch the baby, my husband to listen to my angst or my younger Moppets to Just Be Quiet Please or You Will Be Visiting Me in the Booby Hatch.

One thing that has helped to keep me out of the Booby Hatch is having a 14 year old Moppet who has cleaning the kitchen as her permanent assignment, hehehehe!!

And I appreciate her contribution very much!

With all that said, I will admit that I am happy that I have become a better housekeeper and more organized than I used to be. But that is not because I am still trying to earn favor with God and man by being the perfect woman, but because it makes for a more pleasant life to be able to exist in an environment that is usually not completely chaotic – and is fairly quick and easy to restore to order when Chaos does seem to have gotten the upper hand.

I just can’t believe it took me so long to realize all this.

I Never Thought I’d Say It…But I Love to Exercise!

I have spent most of my life being the proverbial couch potato, albeit one who read on the couch rather than watching television.

I have always hated to sweat and exert myself. When I was in school, I was always the last person to make it in when we had to run around the track, and when I would finally arrive, I would be miserably huffing, puffing and gasping. This was a young, thin person.

Fast forward to 7 years ago when Moppet 2 was born. For some reason I did not lose all the pregnancy weight, and even gained some in his first few years. By the time Moppet 3 was about 6 months old, I was about 20 pounds too heavy – I felt sluggish and was not happy with how I looked. I dieted and lost about 8 lbs, then lost another 9 lbs on the Stomach Flu Diet…I kid you not – but don’t try that yourself.

I kept that weight off for about 3 years, and then it crept back on, as fat is wont to do. I now looked worse than I did when I was fat before, because I was older. I knew that I did not want to 1) suffer unnecessary health problems related to weight as I grew older and 2) did not want to be fat as well as old. Shallow, yes. I know. But honest.

I picked up my first weight because my father told me that if I did, I could avoid the dreaded Boubie Arms. Boubie arms are the flabby triceps of your grandmother that hang down 4 inches and are great fun for grandchildren to jiggle about.

So, in August, 2006 I started with the 5 lb weights. I also began walking about 2 miles a day and using a machine called the Ab Scissor,

which my father gave me in his eternally hopeful quest of getting me to exercise. I started feeling and looking a lot better. Then I got pregnant and stopped doing everything while I was ill during the first 4 months. But when I got over the sickness, I found I had the old pre-exercise sluggish feeling that I had long thought was normal, but now knew was the result of being sedentary.

It was getting hot, so I had no desire to walk outside in Texas. I decided to try some exercise DVDs. I started with a pregnancy light aerobics and toning, and Leslie Sansone’s 3 Mile Walk. Those both became easy to me fairly soon, and I branched out a bit. Now I have close to 50 DVDs, ranging from weightlifting with Gilad, a nice Jewish Israeli athlete, who even has a workout filmed in the old city of Jerusalem…

To Gin Miller, who has a lot of fun workouts done on a ramp

To the Lotte Berk and Bar Methods which are strength training using isometric exercises where your own body acts as the weight.

My favorite of this kind is called Squeeze.

I also have a few workouts by The Firm, a lot more Leslie Sansones, belly dancing, some yoga and a few others, and I can’t imagine life without exercising now.

I try to work out 5-6 days per week; I usually do something cardio in the morning, and something strength in the afternoon or evening – after the Littlest 3 Moppets are in bed, Moppet 1 occasionally does Lotte Berk or Bar Method with me.

I also do yoga occasionally at that time (with a soothing voiced South African yogi named Alan Finger) or do the pilates full matwork from a book called The Pilates Body.

I am 10 weeks postpartum and weigh 9lbs less than I did before I got pregnant. I’m still not sure what my figure will look like after I get rid of more flab…I don’t think it will be just like my pre-baby figure, but I will just have to wait and see.

Health-wise, I feel excellent. I have more energy without using caffeine than I ever did while not exercising and using caffeine. My moods are more stable. I am stronger, able to get into difficult positions and lift things I could not have managed before. My appetite has regulated itself so that I crave more healthy foods. I still have some back pain that has plagued me for years, but I hope that will eventually lessen.

Sometimes it is overwhelming to think I will need to exercise for the rest of my life, especially when I am tired or my muscles ache from a challenging workout. But after a good night’s sleep I always look forward to getting my blood pumping and building up my muscles.

It is actually a challenge to NOT exercise for a day or a few days, because it makes me feel so much better and I miss that if I skip – and also, I am afraid to fall out of the habit, as good habits are so hard to develop, and much easier to let lapse!

If any of you are making New Year’s REsolutions to exercise more, maybe my story will encourage you. I have truly gone from being a Certified Hater of Exercise to a Home Exercise Poster Child.

To learn more about different kinds of exercise videos and DVDs, spend some time at Video Fitness and Collage Video, where you can find forums, reviews, sales and all things related to in-home exercise.

Happy Sweating!

You might even find your Moppets getting into it with you

Some Goals

My first goal is to work towards these goals, but not be a perfectionist – which always freezes me up and I accomplish less! I also have a little baby, which makes for an interrupted life. I don’t want to have goals that are unrealistic for this season of life, and I want to remember that interruptions can be God’s way of getting my attention or sanctifying me further.

I always think of goals based on each role in my life – that helps me not to miss anything when I think about it that way. Here we go:

Mother:

- Read aloud to Moppets 2 and 3 four evenings per week – NON “school” stuff (probably when I am nursing the baby to sleep)
- Get Moppet 1 learning to cook real food (she already bakes) by having her make 1 meal per week

Wife/Homemaker:

- Plan meals and shop from the list
- Be generally more frugal. I hope to start getting an “allowance” each week (assuming we can afford that – not sure how much) and use that for things that I want, so I will have a limit and know exactly when I can or can’t spend.
- Keep track of spending on a monthly expenditure sheet

Homeschooler:

- Continue teaching Moppet 2 to read – do this by reviewing phonics/phonogram cards 4 days per week
- Read aloud “schoolish” things 4 days per week
- Copywork for Moppets 2 and 3 four days per week
- Art lessons with Moppet 2 twice per week
- Guitar lessons on CD with Moppet 2 three times per week

Christian:

- Read one Christian book from church library per month
- Read one book of the Bible per month
- Write in a prayer journal 3x per week

Artist/Writer:

My big goal is to create “inventory”, so I will have things ready IF I get an order from my website, or if I need a gift for someone, etc.

- Make 2 dolls per month – I am considering making dolls of children with no hair, or dolls with only one breast to donate for children who have cancer or women who have had mastectomies, but I have not looked into that yet. Dolls may have to wait for February, since I am out of fabric and doll making supplies and may not be able to afford to buy them yet.
- Make 2 hand bound books per month
- Make 20 handmade cards per month
- Try 2 new techniques or projects per month
- Spend two evenings a month prepping pages in a decorated journal
- Write in journal 4x per week
- Create new zine called Snippets by year’s end
- Transcribe old hard-to-read journals into book form and bind
- Go through digital pics and print ones that deserve printing – 1 disc/folder per week (probably start in February)

Organism:

- Exercise 5x per week…ideally, 5 days cardio, 4 days strength of some kind, and yoga or pilates twice – but the minimum is to do something 5x per week
- Eat moderately
- Drink 10 12oz glasses of water daily

I think that’s it…